Elaine Yu has written an amazing book that recounts her journey from growing up with a ‘deevorced,’ immigrant mom who feared not being able to pay the rent to Stanford alum and more. Her honesty and transparency touched me at a deep level. Looking at her now, some say that Elaine has lived a charmed life. If only they knew. On second thought, find out by reading her book! I couldn’t put it down. Highly recommended.

— Martin Hellman

2015 Turing Award winner; Author of A New Map for Relationships: Creating True Love at Home and Peace on the Planet

People know the story of the ugly duckling who turns into a beautiful swan, but what about the ugly dumpling? And how does that ugly dumpling grow up to become part of a banquet of love, belonging, and joy? In her compelling memoir, Elaine Yu shares how family devotion and the presence of caring adults can help heal even the most painful adverse experiences.

— Russell Jeung, PhD

TIME 100 Most Influential People of 2021; Professor of Asian American Studies, San Francisco State University; Author of At Home in Exile

For all the stories of Asian American success, Ugly Dumpling shows how fragile and shallow these measures are, and the terrible costs behind the scenes to mental health, loving relationships, and overall well-being. Many have gone through similar hardships as Elaine Hsieh Yu, but few have had the resilience to tell of them. I’m staggered by her book.

— Ed Lin

Author of Ghost Month and David Tung Can’t Have a Girlfriend Until He Gets Into an Ivy League College

Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu is a memoir narrated by a little Chinese girl who could solve a Rubik's Cube in minutes, who shivered in fear as her father beat his children with his belt and then threatened to kill their mother who had to escape with them to a home for  battered wives. Elaine Hsieh Yu seems to have a photographic memory of her early life...illuminating the details of her journey from Hong Kong to Hawaii to Baldwin Park and later to Stanford, California. She eats endless meals of chili over rice, teaches herself the times tables, masters algebra and wins an essay contest whose subject is "What God Means to Me." Though her father tells her she's "fat, dark and short" and her two brothers tease her ruthlessly, she finds in herself the grit and ambition to pursue tough challenges. She learns English quickly, comes to appreciate McDonald's, the joys of "Gilligan's Island" and "Happy Days" and the fun of volleyball. Although her mother finds her endlessly lacking, (yet tells her "You are the treasure of my heart"), the author keeps it all together till she comes to the end of her journey in a way you'll be glad you traveled it with her.

— Merrill Joan Gerber

Wallace Stegner Fellow; former fiction writing professor at the California Institute of Technology; Author of Someone Should Know This Story: Selected Short Stories

This poignant memoir captures the small and large indignities of poverty, as well as the challenges and complexities of loving unstable people. Yu conjures the surreal disconnect between the details of dysfunctional family life that feel normal to a child but are actually shocking to outsiders. Every victory in this story feels hard-won, giving the uplifting moments a special resonance.

— Felisa Rogers

Editor, Mezcalistas; essayist and writer

Elaine Hsieh Yu’s Ugly Dumpling: A Memoir follows the author’s childhood after immigrating from Hong Kong to Hawaii in the 1970s, where she grows up in poverty with her mother and brothers after a violent separation from her father. Yu describes vivid scenes of life in a Honolulu apartment, from maggots mistaken for rice grains to crowded bus rides and secondhand school clothes filtered through the innocent observations of a child. Elaine gradually comes to understand the instability surrounding her family, including her mother’s emotional struggles, her father’s absence, and the pressure her brothers feel to protect and discipline her. The memoir also explores family history in China and Hong Kong, showing how generations of hardship and rigid expectations shaped her mother’s life. As the memoir progresses, the story becomes one of identity, belonging, and the ways childhood experiences continue to shape adulthood.

Ugly Dumpling stands out for its conversational storytelling and striking sensory details. The writing moves smoothly between humor and heartbreak. Elaine Hsieh Yu frequently uses repetition, imagery, and dialogue to recreate the rhythms of memory and family life. Descriptions of food, apartments, school classrooms, and city streets provide a strong sense of place, particularly the atmosphere of Hawaii during the 1970s. One of the strongest elements is the contrast between a child’s interpretation of events and the adult understanding that emerges beneath the surface. This contrast creates tension throughout the book and gives many scenes additional meaning. Yu allows difficult family experiences to appear exactly as she felt them at the time, often through simple observations rather than dramatic explanations. Ugly Dumpling captures the confusion and wonder of childhood, making it appealing to readers who enjoy emotional and moving memoirs centered on family history, immigration, and self-discovery.

— Carol Thompson

Readers’ Favorite

Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu is the true story of a remarkable woman who fought her way out of poverty and ended up living in one of the most affluent neighborhoods in America, Silicon Valley. From an early age, Elaine learned to depend on herself. Having a father who flitted in and out of their lives and a mentally unfit mother meant Elaine had to handle problems on her own. Because they were living on assistance, she had no financial freedom to participate in activities that would boost her education or social life.

To Elaine, these restrictions meant stagnation, a constant source of stress. Originally from Hong Kong, Elaine moved to Hawaii when she was four, and didn’t feel like she belonged. Experiencing racism and prejudice, not just from teachers and classmates, but from strangers on the road, was a daily occurrence. However, instead of becoming depressed, Elaine learned to be resourceful— if she couldn’t afford a new dress, she’d make one; if there weren’t enough funds for a toy or game, she’d code one. Elaine’s hard work and ambition finally paid off when she got accepted into Stanford. There she studied hard and earned her Master’s degree in Electrical Engineering, proving that with enough determination and ambition, nothing is impossible. But Elaine is adamant that it is not one’s wealth that makes one fortunate and privileged, but family. Despite having accomplished everything she wanted to, Elaine realized it meant nothing if you didn’t have your family to enjoy it with. She is steadfast in her belief that the time spent with family should always be treasured and recognizes it as the glue that keeps it all together. Funny and deeply moving, Ugly Dumpling is the type of memoir that not only has a meaningful message but remains embedded in your heart long after turning the last page. Growing up in poverty is no easy feat; the effect it has not only on one’s capabilities but emotional well-being is traumatic. The feelings Elaine had because of financial insecurity were emotionally draining, yet she was able to rise above them. Her obvious devotion to her family and concern for their well-being speak volumes about who she is as a person, and I admire her character greatly. The title is an endearing nod to her father and his delicious cooking. Elaine’s candid honesty, humility, tolerance, and easy humor stood out to me; her authenticity is what makes Ugly Dumpling so special. Despite her condition, it was always clear that Elaine’s mom cared deeply for her and her brothers, but that she was struggling with things outside of her control or capacity. A sad and very common occurrence, as a lot of mentally-ill people are undiagnosed, never able to live life to their full potential. Elaine tells her story with simplicity and honesty, and I have learned so much from her. Your situation does not determine your success or value—you do. If you’ve ever felt helpless or frustrated by your circumstances and need inspiration, then Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu is just the book for you.

— Danelle Petersen

Readers’ Favorite

Elaine Hsieh Yu’s Ugly Dumpling begins after immigrating from Hong Kong to Hawai‘i, where Elaine grows up in cramped apartments. Money is scarce, her father’s violence lingers, and her mother So Jong’s untreated psychiatric illness shapes daily life. At school, racist insults and welfare lunch markers teach Elaine how quickly poverty can become public. She turns achievement into protection, moving from Honolulu classrooms to Stanford and then into engineering work to support the family. Yet success does not suppress what she learned young. Elaine’s daughter, Joanna, becomes the point where old fears reappear, especially when opportunity begins to look like pressure. Elaine begins to understand that love cannot be proven through performance, obedience, or sacrifice alone.

Elaine Hsieh Yu’s Ugly Dumpling has the quiet intimacy found in conversations that daughters sometimes have only after becoming mothers themselves. Elaine shows that family history often survives through details dismissed by everyone else. A child sitting on Santa’s lap asking for nothing because Donna, the volunteer who takes her through Waikīkī in a bright orange convertible, has already made her feel chosen for once. So Jong, years later, is in psychiatric care, believing her absence would bring relief to the people she loves most. Elaine places these moments beside one another with enormous patience, permitting each to alter the reader’s understanding of the other. The book becomes especially moving in the passages concerning ambition, not because Elaine condemns achievement, but because she gradually recognizes how easily fear disguises itself as devotion in families affected by financial insecurity. Her changing relationship with Jacob and Joanna gives the memoir much of its wisdom. Readers interested in Chinese-American memoirs will appreciate the way Elaine writes about inheriting expectations formed long before her childhood began, then recognizing, as a mother, that love cannot survive if every generation mistakes pressure for protection.

— Jamie Michele

Readers’ Favorite

A powerful story of survival against the odds and the ultimate redemptive power of love.

— Grant Leishman

Readers’ Favorite

This excellently written work evokes candid emotions about the realities of life, especially for immigrants… Themes covered, like the hope of recovering from life’s tragedies, will resonate with many readers.

— Frank Mutuma

Readers’ Favorite